As parents, we often focus on the daily joys and challenges of raising children. From diaper changes to college applications, our days are filled with planning and care.
Sleepless nights are a big part of parenting – and one of the things that keeps a lot of parents awake is the thought of the worst happening. While estate planning won’t knock you out cold for the best sleep of you life, a great estate planning, and the ancillary work related to insurance, great advisors, and more, will at least allow you to be a bit smug when you are raiding the fridge at 3am!
Most estate planning is lazy and boring. And while it might be “enough” from a technical standpoint, you have to view your revocable trust, the document used to transfer you wealth to your children, through your children’s eyes. Does it assure them that you love them? Does it provide guidance as to the best and highest uses of money? Does it encourage them live loudly and fully? Does it protect them from their worst and even their best and most generous instincts? Does it promote family togetherness?
Avoiding the “Lazy Trust” Trap
One of the most common mistakes parents make is opting for a “lazy trust.” These are trusts that distribute assets to children at predetermined ages, such as 25, 30, and 35. While this approach might seem simple, it fails to account for who your child will be at those ages.
Imagine your 25-year-old receiving one-third of their inheritance. Will they be mature enough to handle it? What if they’re dealing with financial troubles, a divorce, or other life challenges? What if they are receiving RSUs, and the distribution from a trust would result in a windfall for the IRS? A rigid, age-based trust doesn’t provide the flexibility or guidance needed to navigate these scenarios.
At De Fonte Law, we work with parents to create trusts that grow with your children. Instead of arbitrary age milestones, we focus on your family’s unique needs, ensuring your children are supported while safeguarding their futures. A well-crafted trust empowers trustees to make thoughtful decisions based on your child’s circumstances, not just their age.
Adding Heart and Soul to Your Estate Plan
Most estate planning documents are dry and technical—they address who gets what, who’s in charge, and tax implications. While these elements are critical, they miss the heart of what estate planning is about: helping your children thrive.
At De Fonte Law, we believe your estate plan should reflect your values, hopes, and dreams for your children. We spend time discussing:
- Your relationship with money.
- The best and highest uses of wealth.
- How to communicate your wishes to future generations.
By incorporating this guidance into your trust, we ensure that your estate plan doesn’t just distribute assets but serves as a loving roadmap for your family’s future.
Nominating Guardians: More Than a Name on Paper
For parents of minor children, choosing a guardian is often the hardest part of estate planning. As a parent myself, I know the struggle. No one can parent exactly as you would, yet it’s essential to identify loving individuals who can step in if needed.
What many parents don’t realize is that nominating a guardian isn’t a guarantee. A judge makes the final decision, and if your nomination lacks clarity, it may complicate the process. At De Fonte Law, we go beyond a simple nomination. We create comprehensive documents that:
- List emergency contacts and potential guardians.
- Provide guidance on your values, such as education, religion, and family traditions.
- Include a list of trusted individuals who can share your family’s story with the judge.
This level of detail helps ensure your wishes are honored and your children are cared for in the way you’d want.
Rethinking Trusts for Minor Children
Many parents default to age-based trusts, but at De Fonte Law, we believe there’s a better way. Our trusts are designed to:
- Encourage dialogue between trustees and beneficiaries.
- Include language that reflects your values and priorities.
- Adapt to your children’s changing needs and circumstances.
For example, instead of simply giving a 25-year-old access to their inheritance, our trusts empower them to request funds when they feel ready. This approach encourages responsibility and ensures that the trust serves its purpose: supporting your children’s growth and success.
Including Provisions That Reflect Your Life
Your estate plan should be as unique as your family. Beyond the basics of who gets what, consider the following provisions:
- Pet Care: Ensure your children’s pets are cared for if something happens to you.
- Education: Specify funds for tutors, college advisors, or other traditional and on-traditional educational needs.
- Family Togetherness: Allocate money for family reunions or vacations to maintain strong bonds.
- Professional Support: Provide for financial advisors, attorneys, or therapists to guide your adult children.
By addressing these details, you create an estate plan that truly reflects your life and values.
Planning for Young Adults
Watching your child turn 18 is a bittersweet milestone. Legally, they’re an adult, but as a parent, you know they still need guidance. Here’s what you should do when your child reaches adulthood:
- Healthcare Directive: Ensure they have an advanced healthcare directive so you can make medical decisions if needed.
- Power of Attorney: Set up a power of attorney to manage their financial affairs in an emergency.
- Simple Will: Help them create a basic will.
- Update Accounts: Transition custodial accounts to their name and notify doctors and schools about their new status.
These steps empower your young adult while giving you peace of mind.
Supporting Caregivers in Times of Crisis
Life is unpredictable, and parents often worry about what would happen if they were suddenly unavailable. Who would care for their children? Who could communicate with doctors or schools?
At De Fonte Law, we provide our clients with a California Caregiver Affidavit. This document allows caregivers to:
- Speak with schools and doctors.
- Arrange for mental health support.
This is just one way we go above and beyond to support our clients. Estate planning isn’t just about documents; it’s about peace of mind.
Estate Planning That Reflects Your Heart
Estate planning is more than a legal process; it’s a way to protect your family and pass on your values. At De Fonte Law, we specialize in creating personalized, thoughtful estate plans that:
- Address your children’s needs at every stage of life.
- Reflect your values, hopes, and dreams.
- Provide clarity and support for those entrusted with your legacy.
Whether you’re just starting your family or preparing for your child’s transition to adulthood, we’re here to help. Let’s create a plan that brings you peace of mind and protects what matters most.
Patricia De Fonte | De Fonte Law PC
Estate Planning with Heart®
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